Rassle Tribune #2
RASSLIN TRIBUNE #2: My Computer Ate My Homework, SmackDown is headed to Sacramento, RAW Continues to Happen, TNA Continues to Pulsate One Way or Another.
So as the headline states, my computer fucking hates me. I had about 18 pages of fantastic reviews of fantastic things, and next thing I know BAM! Nothing. Now I’m sure many that will read this opening line will be hateful enough to state the obvious: SAVE YOUR WORK DUMBSHIT. Yeah, yeah I know but sometimes this shit just FLOWS, man. And when the creativity FLOWS, man you just kind of forget simple things like save features. I’ll cut the cantankerous shit though and get into what we all came here for.
TNA Bound for Glory 2016 Quick Thoughts:
- The main event was an alright match but the finish was absolutely anti-climactic. Considering what I mention later regarding TNA’s future, this is extremely stupid in many ways.
- Decay vs The Hardys in “The Great War” was an absolute spectacle. As a wrestling match? I’d give it an average at best rating but as an entertaining event, it was top notch. They called back to all the previous vignettes/angles that have led to this moment as well. Strong finish that makes sense, if making sense even matters at this point with these four.
- The Impact Grand Championship final ended up being Eddie Edwards against Aron Rex, aka Damien Sandow when Drew Galloway revealed a bad neck injury. He mentioned in the promo that the injury was announced something about Billy Corgan only buying TNA to make life hell for him. Good stuff. I’ve seen elsewhere give this match low marks but I actually enjoyed it. Was the live crowd hot for it? No but we’re talking about the Impact Zone, scorched earth if there ever was any. Rex got the win but that didn’t hurt Eddie. Rex also teased a heel turn in the future while Eddie never gave up.
- Gail Kim vs Maria for the TNA Knockouts’ Title was what you’d expect; dogshit. It was nice to see Gail regain the title she brought into the business back in 2007 but other than that this was very forgettable.
- Mike Bennett vs Moose was alright. Moose has incredible potential and is a truly phenomenal athlete while Bennett is solid in the ring as a worker. It just lacked a really strong reason behind it as well as execution errors here and there that many make.
- The Bound for Gold Gauntlet match was also..there. A whole lot of nobodies and in the end, Eli Drake got the big win and a chance to challenge the TNA World Champion in the future at any time. I really dig Eli Drake despite him going way overboard with the Steve Austin routine at times. He has presence and he’s capable in the ring so I give this good vibes.
- Trevor Lee vs DJ Z for the X-Division Title was absolutely ridiculous. It was a spot fest if I’ve ever seen it and that isn’t a bad thing. I thought they were really inventive with their transitions at times and I saw things I’ve never seen before. Trevor Lee is going to be a massive star someday, if the stars continue to align themselves.
RAW 10-3-2016 Quick Thoughts:
-I felt like the mass of this show was quite poor, especially when it came to the in-ring sans the main event. New Day vs Owens and Jericho was fantastic both in the segment before the match and the match itself. It isn’t news to anyone that those four are money.
- Enzo and Big Cass had a bit of a cringe worthy Susan G. Komen segment with some cancer survivors. It wasn’t their fault, they were just instructed to do their full entrance schtick and these women clearly weren’t fans. Even many of the fans looked really uncomfortable but Enzo and Cass had strong poise dealing with it.
- Braun Strowman continues to just murder poor fuckers. He finally cut a promo saying he wants real competition. Well then, get ready to be exposed further!
- Sami Zayn vs Titus O’ Neil was the very definition of a good squash match from a babyface. Zayn took some heat, made his fiery comeback, and hit his finish for the win. Let us pray poor Sami gets some good stuff soon.
- Brian Kendrick vs TJ Perkins was awesome. Kendrick got the big win leading to a rematch for the title which I am also ok with. However, the fans still don’t seem enthused by this division and I am hoping WWE will be smart and push the cruiserweights with more character vignettes and promos. You can’t buy something that isn’t sold to you.
- Roman Reigns and Rusev opened the show with a shit brawl. Roman, naturally, got the upper hand in the end and announced that he would face Rusev inside Hell in a Cell AT Hell in a Cell. Thanks WWE, but this isn’t going to be what you think it will be.
- Seth Rollins continues to be booked quite weakly all too often. He looked like a whiny bitch in the back with Stephanie, even after giving the “marrying Hunter was a mistake” line. He caused Owens and Jericho their New Day match but still, so much more is needed to be done for people to truly invest in Rollins as a hero and most of all him against Owens entirely.
- Ah, Sasha Banks vs Charlotte. This was really, really good. I just can’t help but get Joshi vibes from these ladies and they absolutely bring the drama. Sasha continued to defy reason with her risky moves and Charlotte even added that trait to her own arsenal when she threw out an insane corkscrew moonsault to the floor on Sasha out of nowhere. Sasha wasn’t to be outclassed and she was absolutely on her game. Sasha took the win and that is as it should be. Charlotte is still the main bad girl on RAW and that’s also how it should be. Kudos to all involved. Rumors of a first-ever women’s Hell in a Cell match make this all the more intriguing going forward.
SmackDown Live Quick Thoughts for 10-4-2016:
- Bray Wyatt is pretty much done. Even if he beats Randy Orton at No Mercy, the damage that has been done to his mystique is something that can’t be taken lightly. He lost on this show to Kane by countout when Orton lured him to the back. What continued on throughout the show were glimpses of Wyatt looking for Orton, finding Orton, being outsmarted and locked in a storage locker, and finally Orton finds that Wyatt disappeared.
- The Hype Bros went up against The Vaudevillians in a battle of meaningless tag teams. Hype Bros went over after stuff.
- Nikki Bella vs Alexa Bliss ended up being Nikki and Becky Lynch vs Alexa Bliss and Carmella. That match was decent simply because Nikki sold most of the time, Becky and Alexa worked as well while Carmella just didn’t do anything. When she DID do something it was bad. Alexa went over with Twisted Bliss which is a fun move. Things have been hampered though with the injury to Becky.
- Jason Jordan vs Jey Uso was awesome for the angle match it was. Jordan won in a matter of seconds and that’s when The Usos took out both members of American Alpha with attacks to the knees. Slater and Rhyno ran them off and we got the overdone taunting before a big show.
- The segment involving Ziggler and Miz on this show was amazing. Miz ran a mockumentary involving all of Dolph’s worst WWE moments. Dolph fired up and out came Mike Mondo and Ken Doane from The Spirit Squad. Things seemed dormant until they mocked Dolph as well and blindsided him. Dolph made a comeback and took them out with Superkicks and nearly got Miz with one also when he snuck up from behind. I am actually interested in this match.
- Baron Corbin vs Jack Swagger was total bullshit. Bad match. Horrible finish. Pointless in every way. They did the “bad ref” finish where Corbin was reaching for the rope break and the ref saw that as a tap. Corbin lost his shit and we’re going to see a rematch that is not going to be good either.
- The face off between Cena, Ambrose, and AJ Styles was fantastic. AJ started and mentioned how great he was until Ambrose interrupted to talk about how he was screwed with the low blow from AJ at Backlash and now Cena is jealous of his success so he has to come out from the shadows to get the glory. Cena finally came to the ring and AJ immediately told him to shut up and started jabbing at him about not being in Ric Flair’s league in regards to his chase towards 16 World Championships. He also said his problem is he’s worried about Flair and not AJ. Cena went to respond yet Ambrose cut him off as well andsaid he knew what he was going to say, going into how Ambrose knew Cena didn’t like him and had done all he could to undermine him. The problem? Ambrose stated he was just a better performer than Cena and that’s why it didn’t matter. He also said that he wasn’t going to be a fake, plastic person in the back to be the World Champion and that’s when Cena just said talk is cheap. Cena also laid out both opponents and posed with the title. AJ blindsided him and posed as well with the title and went to walk to the back when Ambrose DRILLED him from behind and spiked him on the ramp with Dirty Deeds to end the show. Strong go-home for Team Blue going into No Mercy angle wise, totally awful for the most part match wise.
ROH All Star Extravaganza VIII
I only saw part of this show because of technical issues and I came into the show at the Kaimaitachi vs Dragon Lee match. Really good match that I saw with modern lucha oozing all out of it. Kaimaitachi now has been injured and it is a shame, he’s quite the good one.
Now again, I didn’t see most of this show so that sucks. However I saw two fucking tremendous matches here.
Tetsuya Naito vs Jay Lethal
THIS IS RASSLIN. Lethal played the strong babyface with cool moves and Naito played the complete douchebag...with cool moves! It was really good with Naito taking the heat all over the place and Jay fighting back so damn well. The finish was awesome and proves that ROH is getting better not worse. ****
The Addiction(c) vs The Motor City Machine Guns vs The Young Bucks in a Ladder War for the ROH World Tag Team Championships
This was a total tornado of action. If you like insanely dumb bumps, blood, and DEM SPOTS you have it in droves with this. The Young Bucks take a fucking heinous beating a lot of this match complete with a completely mental bump by Nick Jackson from the top of a ladder all the way to the floor and pretty much evaporating a table that did nothing for his fall. It is totally something out of the TLC days of 2001. There was a great moment where all six men did table spots in stereo and it came off well. Christopher Daniels won a Medal of Honor here with the fucking blood he lost as well as the absolutely insane bumps he took on a repeated basis while also missing nothing in terms of timing. There was a Fort of Barricades that Daniels was the sacrificial lamb for. The Bucks won after a crazy Meltzer Driver through a table and it is a must see. ****1/2
The rumor mill is going wild this week with more talks of a Brock Lesnar vs Bill Goldberg match yet there’s a new twist. Now the reports coming out are indicating that the match will indeed happen but not at WrestleMania 33. Instead, the plan is for a match at this year’s Survivor Series in Toronto. This coincides with recent quotes from Goldberg mentioning that he is thinking about a return now more than he has in years thanks to the hype behind WWE 2k17. What do I think about this development? It’s intriguing indeed but it’s also another example of Vince McMahon fixating on stars of yesteryear and neglecting his current crop all too often. I think the match would be a big hit and if it is given a good angle it could be very huge but the fact is both men are much older now than they were the last time they met in 2004. Let us also not forget that that match was god awful so is this something fans really WANT to see?
I caught only the majority of the “Wolf Creek Cage Match” between Decay and Matt and Brother Nero Hardy from this Thursday’s Impact as well as the well-publicized main event World title match. I thought the Decay and Hardys cage match was really good but I missed the finish thanks to my cable provider being absolutely fucking horrid. Then I find out that this was something TNA DID ON PURPOSE? My god. Then they post the finish online which included Matt just climbing over the cage, Reby rubbing his “blood” on her face as warpaint and them celebrating with Jeff. This shit is bizarre. **
Aron Rex vs Baron Dax for the Grand Championship was pretty much a squash. Rex showed some evil deeds on his way to the win but he made Dax tap like nothing. Rex feels very meh to me which is bad because he’s just gotten into the company. Perhaps it is the WWE burial that hasn’t been able to reverse itself or perhaps Rex just isn’t as good as people expected him to be.
The Maria/Mike Bennett and Brandi/Cody Rhodes segment was alright. I’m curious to see how Brandi will fair in the ring and Cody’s very good so there’s no worries on that. Mike vs Cody is next week.
Bobby Lashley(c) vs Eddie Edwards for the TNA World Championship
This is the classic mode of booking an underdog babyface. Lashley mauls Eddie for the vast majority of this one and even ignores chances to win because he thinks this is just a warm up. He does his usual suplexes and mean shit while Eddie simply sells and refuses to die. Eddie gets in some flashes of offense, a top rope hurricanrana and shining wizard are examples, yet Lashley is Lashley and isn’t taking that shit. As time goes on though, Lashley becomes weaker and suddenly Eddie’s hitting a nice elbow suicida on him on the floor and the fans are coming. Lashley cuts him off though right when things get good and we are expected to see another Lashley win with the spear and instead, Edwards bursts towards him and nails a running knee strike that they’re trying to call the Boston Knee Party (sigh) and gets the win! Eddie Edwards is yes, TNA World Champion. I really liked this match, loved the finish, and hope to God that he is given a chance as a strong champion. ***
WWE No Mercy 2016 Pre-Show:
American Alpha and The Hype Bros vs The Vaudevillains and The Ascension
I love me some American Alpha. They have the absolute best offense of any tag team in a long time, of course sans our saviors The Young Bucks. Now I’m thinking about a Bucks vs Alpha match instead of this. That match would be leagues better than this. Hype Bros are just there and it is sad because Zack Ryder is a talent. Same can be said for The ‘Villains and The Ascension though. Aiden and Chad Gable start us off and Gable wrestles circles around the poor man. We get some stereo dropkicks from Alpha on both ‘Villains. In comes Ryder and Viktor of the Ascension. We get a “Lets Go Ryder” chant which is super cool. Viktor does stuff. Ryder does some also. This quickly becomes just an exhibition of all teams involved, complete with Mojo Rawley making a complete ass of himself but somehow getting over with the crowd for it.
WWE No Mercy 2016 Main Show:
I didn’t know what to think when it was announced that the Triple Threat World Title match would start the show. I think on one hand it is a poor move because it is making the belt feel less important to some who feel that it should always be the main event. However on another hand, it has that unpredictable, ECW type feel where you never knew where a match would be put on the card so you made every match a big deal. Let us see how this pays off or not.
That Miz and Maryse commercial for No Mercy is gold. All of us should rejoice these people.
AJ Styles(c) vs John Cena vs Dean Ambrose for the WWE World Championship
A huge part of the crowd ate this up from the start. I was confused about them playing the match hype video AFTER all three men were in the ring. Bizarre. Way too much stalling before the bell even rang. I love how the heel in this equation got probably the loudest pop of anyone. They chanted his fucking name for god’s sake. Mauro Renallo is a godsend for this brand because he adds so much to anything he’s calling and these boys are going hard. Ambrose goes for broke but finds himself a pawn in the AJ vs Cena game and then we get a three way clothesline spot that is fun. They sell and Cena gets back up to fight with Ambrose and then comes AJ who gets knocked away time after time by Ambrose. Cena and AJ take a beating on the floor thanks to Ambrose for a bit and then we get a fight at one of the announce tables between AJ and Ambrose. Ambrose tries leaping on Cena but is caught and driven into the post. AJ dives from the ring into Cena like it is just another day. More AJ chants which make me happy. Cena takes a beating in the ring by AJ. Ambrose catches AJ sleeping and tries a suplex to the floor yet Ambrose transitions into the ring and jockeys for position with AJ and Cena sneaks up to give both men a german suplex. Super Cena still shows up when needed, or not needed depending on your disposition. Cena and AJ have a moment in the ring and Cena hits a fucking horrible TKO kind of move for a near fall. Cena then goes for the AA but AJ lands on his feet and seamlessly hits a Pele Kick. Goddamn AJ is just great. Ambrose gets a sunset flip on AJ for a two and AJ then hits his moonsault reverse DDT and neckbreaker combo on both opponents! I loved that. Ambrose gets backdropped way over the top and nearly eats the steps on a nasty bump. AJ works on Cena with mid kicks but Cena is stubborn as fuck with a gordbuster. Code Red for a near fall by Cena! That was probably the best one he’s ever done. Cena tries for a Super AA but AJ maneuvers himself out and into a Torture Rack Blue Thunder Bomb for a near fall! We get a back and forth between Cena and AJ with sleepers until Ambrose comes in to synch one in on Cena himself and puts all his weight on him. Cena breaks the hold by driving Ambrose into AJ in the corner. We get the usual Cena comeback but AJ breaks it up with a german suplex/facebuster combo to get a near fall. Ambrose comes up and nails AJ with his Double Chickenwing Facebuster for a near fall! This is good. Ambrose gets tossed to the floor and Cena’s back to do his Ultimate Warrior shoulder blocks yet Ambrose is up top and hits the standing elbow drop for a near fall! AJ goes to nail Ambrose with the springboard elbow but Cena takes it instead. This opens up Ambrose vs AJ up on the top rope ending with an AJ frankensteiner into a sunset flip for a near fall! AJ gets a roll up for two. A double clothesline ends things for a time and Cena finds himself in the ring yet again. The fans immediately start booing, and Cena signals for a double five knuckle shuffle and hits it, it’s not good. Cena gets AA on AJ but AJ rolls to the floor. Dirty Deeds is reversed into an AA on Ambrose for a near fall! Here we go, the finisher/kickout marathon begins! Cena locks on the STF and AJ breaks it up. AJ suplexes Cena on the apron and jumps up and hits a springboard 450 on Ambrose for two. Springboard forearm is countered yet Ambrose is countered also into the Styles Clash! Cena is there though to lock on the STF! Ambrose is out though, or so we though. Ambrose holds AJ’s hand from tapping and starts beating the shit out of Cena. Cena finds himself with both men up high for a Double AA but AJ fights out. What follows is a flurry of all three men leveling each other with great moves. Ambrose and AJ are up though and continue on. Ambrose teases a Super Dirty Deeds but Cena comes from behind to hit a powerbomb for two. AJ cross bodies Cena but is dead lifted up and into the AA but AJ slips out again into a Calf Crusher! Cena is in trouble but Ambrose saves the match with an elbow on AJ. Cena rolls out and again, it is about Ambrose and AJ. Ambrose gets the Calf Crusher on AJ! His version is real bad. Cena takes AJ’s other leg and locks the STF ON! AJ TAPPED WHAT IN THE HELL?! The ref is waving it off, and JBL somehow tells us this is the right move and yet he’s saying that it is still on. Really dumb. Cena levels Ambrose with a clothesline and I start to get woozy. What kind of trite are they giving us? Cena has AA but eats Dirty Deeds instead but AJ saves the day with a ref interference! Ambrose leaps over the ref and dives onto AJ who crashes down and Ambrose slings him over an announce table. Ambrose goes up top and Cena is smart to it. Why not? Cena again goes for the Super AA and nails it. AJ has a chair! AJ beats his spine out with it and AJ takes the win! Really dumb booking in many ways but AJ retains the title despite tapping out to both men. ***1/2
Nikki Bella vs Carmella
They finally announce that Becky won’t be competing tonight. They mention it is not wrestling related which is odd. Anyways I hope Becky comes back soon and healthier than ever. They also say Alexa will still wrestle. This feud between these two started off interesting and has just puddered out. I’d call this an Ode to The Divas Division. Lots of hair pulling. Lots of tits out and asses as well. Not a ton of wrestling. Carmella slings Nikki around like hell which was great and she starts selling her neck like crazy. Carmella keeps working the neck and suddenly I don’t mind it. Nikki Bella’s facial expressions are so comical. We get a stunning moonwalk into a bronco buster. Not intriguing in any way after the fun bumps from Nikki on the floor. Nikki’s spear to Carmella after the heat was AWFUL. Nikki gives love to X-Pac with a nice X Factor for a near fall. This match just proved to me how green Carmella is and how obvious it was that Nikki carried this whole thing. The fans really didn’t give two fucks at all and I can’t blame them. Carmella’s submission finish is cool to see. Nikki pulled a Cena and beat Carmella out of nowhere. *
Miz and Maryse go into Shane and Daniel Bryan’s office and talks about great things. Mainly how he’s going to put out Ziggler and that Bryan is at fault for this retirement as much as he is. He talks about Rocky IV and Bryan corpses like he’s on SNL or something. Bryan feigns anger badly and Miz flubs his line about how Dolph and Bryan will both be retired after tonight. Miz says he wants to re-negotiate after tonight and Shane dead pans. GOLD I SAY.
Heath Slater and Rhyno(c) vs The Usos for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The fans really don’t care about The Usos either way but I have to say I like the street heel vibe they have. I know a lot of people hate them but I don’t mind it it is something different. Rhyno and Slater are just a novelty act at this point. The response for them was mute at best here. Jimmy and Rhyno do some stuff and Jimmy eats a double elbow by Slater and Rhyno. The Usos beat on Slater for a bit to make me happy it seems. Rhyno takes a tag and levels the Usos and it’s just alright. The Usos take advantage of distraction to dropkick Rhyno into the corner and hit a running butt attack into the corner ala Umaga. Rhyno actually takes the heat at some point and it is quite funny to see. Slater with the hot tag was very great though because he has FIRE. Jey and Slater have a really fun sequence with a big pop-up Samoan Drop for a near fall. Jimmy gets the tag and Rhyno makes it a fair fight. Slater hits a top rope powerslam for a near fall really good! Nice Superkick by Jimmy and Slater is DONESKI. Jey is tagged in and they attack the knee. Tequila Sunrise is locked in and Rhyno comes in to break it up with a hard ass clothesline. Slater crawls to the corner and Rhyno takes the tag. Rhyno measures up a Gore for Jey and it is all over. This was much better than I expected. **1/2
Bray Wyatt is in the back in his rocking chair speaking some kind of tongues or language. He’s snapped so apparently we have to be reminded of this with a backstage...thing. He just feels like a delusional homeless guy because of his weak booking.
Jack Swagger vs Baron Corbin
WHY DID THEY BOOK THIS AGAIN? It was dumb on Tuesday and it is dumber tonight. These guys are booking casualties of this year and this match showed it because the fans did not care AT ALL. It wasn’t even that the match was awful but it just had no real heat at all. Corbin tried to look like a big monster but no one bought it. They work with Swagger getting his hand hurt on the steps so that Corbin can work his hand the rest of the match, making one assume that the ankle lock would be impossible. Corbin does the worst post spot when he just slapped the post and sold his face. Swagger whipped his ass and hit his Swagger Bomb for two. They worked the idea that Swagger can’t put on his ankle lock and Corbin gets a near fall off of Deep Six. Corbin screams at the ref and decides he wants to play with Swagger some more and yell at fans. Swagger just no sells his hand finally and locks in the Ankle Lock. We get an identical situation with the hold with Corbin reaching for the ropes and he gets the ring apron to break. Corbin pokes his eyes and hits End of Days for the win. **
The Miz(c) vs Dolph Ziggler Career vs Intercontinental Championship
I personally felt like this should have went last when I heard the World Title match was first but I get why you’d throw it on in the middle. For one, it isn’t like Dolph’s ever had the respect in the back to be given a true-blue big time main event aside from the time he had a ladder match with John Cena. No surprise. Also, The Miz is his opponent and WWE hasn’t exactly had faith in him in the ring either. Nonetheless this build has been pretty solid and I actually did give a shit about this. Miz has so much heat and I LOVE IT. He’s probably the only true heel on the active roster because people legit want him to get beat up constantly. Dolph starts us off with some babyface shine until Miz catches him sleeping going back into the ring but Dolph feeds him a great dropkick. Ziggler takes a Bret Hart front turnbuckle like a champ for two. Miz sells his teeth, a call back to earlier this year when he shoot lost his teeth. Miz takes control though and works over Dolph with good stuff, mainly his usual basic stuff. Miz taunts at Daniel Bryan and puts on what looks to be the starts of a mexican surfboard and does the Yes fingers taunt before stomping down on Dolph’s hamstrings. I feel like they’re totally mocking the internet fans, THEY WOULD NEVER! Ziggler goes for a superkick but suffers for it. Ziggler plays the face in peril well here and claws just to stand. Miz does Daniel Bryan’s rushing dropkicks into the corner and it is obvious that this is teasing Miz vs Bryan down the line. Odd. Ziggler catches Miz off guard with another great dropkick and Otunga tells us that somehow Ziggler is still gonna lose. Aren’t you a good guy dude? Anyways we get both men clammering to their feet and Ziggler rushes into Miz with repeated clothlines into the stinger splash and elbows for a near fall. Ziggler feigns despair here and again looks beaten down. Ziggler makes a mistake and Miz goes for the slingshot powerbomb but Ziggler rolls him up for two and Miz levels him in return with a big boot but is caught with his feet on the ropes with the pinfall. Miz is mad he got caught. Miz eats the post and Ziggler nearly gets a roll up but Miz counters. Miz nails a DDT for a near fall. Miz recovers and works Ziggler’s knee like crazy and goes for a figure four but Ziggler is smart to it. Miz clips at the knee and dropkicks it in the corner and stalks again and tries a figure four but Ziggler rolls him up for two. Miz hits his leaping clothesline in the corner and goes for a high risk move. Ziggler crotches him though and tries for a superplex yet Miz beats on him to escape. Miz counters it into a sunset flip into a slingshot but Ziggler fights out. Miz finds a way to slap on the figure four though and Ziggler sells like his leg is being filleted. He works towards the bottom rope but Miz slides him further away and Ziggler nearly gets caught with his shoulders down. They work this hold so damn well and the fans will Dolph onward to the ropes. This is good pro wrestling! Maryse finally gets involved and distracts the ref so that Miz can remove one of the turnbuckle pads. Ziggler hits a Rough Ryder for a near fall! That was neat. Miz looks fucked and sells his throat which is great. Ziggler tries for the Zig Zag but he eats the exposed turnbuckle and Miz hits a sloppy slingshot powerbomb but Ziggler barely kicks out! Miz looks absolutely shocked and saddened to the core. TOP NOTCH BOYS. These guys worked this match so well that the crowd got behind them. Miz then does the mid kicks to the kneeling Ziggler, again ala Bryan and misses the home run kick and Ziggler hits his Zig Zag! Miz kicks out however and the fans sigh! Maryse feigns a heart attack on the floor. The fans are on their feet for Ziggler and he is absolutely up and poised. Miz goes for a Skull Crushing Finale but is rolled up for a near fall. Ziggler quickly locks in a sleeper! Miz tries to fight it and they’re close to the ropes. Miz looks to fade rather quickly but suddenly bursts towards the ropes. Maryse sprays the eyes again and a Skull Crushing Finale hits but Dolph’s foot is on the rope! Maryse is stunned, Miz thinks he won. The ref says fuck no and Miz is so sad guys. Like Droopy the Dog sad and I love it. Miz goes after Dolph’s knee like a total, cheap dick. Ziggler’s boot comes off and Miz eats his socked foot with a superkick! Dolph crawls towards a downed Miz and the damn Spirit Squad hits the ring! The fans fucking boo huge and for good reason. Miz levels Mondo Miz takes advantage with the Skull Crushing Finale yet DOLPH KICKS OUT AGAIN! THIS IS GOOD, MAN. Miz looks enraged beyond belief and Ziggler is worn down to hell. Sacramento lets us know this is awesome, they are right. The ref kicks out all three goofs from ringside to a HUGE POP. Dolph gives Miz yet another SUPERKICK AND IT IS OVER FOLKS! New IC Champion and the world rejoices. ****
Orton is in the back and he’s looking in the mirror, seeing distorted shit rather than reality just like always with Wyatt angles. Ok, thanks.
We see where Curt Hawkins finally got in the ring during the pre-show. Hawkins got the mic and said that on Tuesday he’ll finally wrestle. Useless, pointless, bad, and actually rotten.
Alexa Bliss comes out and gets on the mic to let us know that Becky Lynch is being protected. Alexa mocked Becky and said it didn’t matter because she’s just scared of her. Cool. Naomi cut her off and people didn’t really seem to care a lot.
Alexa Bliss vs Naomi
Alexa just beats the snot out of Naomi for the early part. Naomi catches her talking shit and kicks her like crazy. Naomi hit a sloppy split-legged moonsault for two. Elbow strike by Alexa with the thigh slap of DOOM effect. Awesome double Eat Defeat by Naomi and yet she can’t take advantage. Alexa ties her up in the ropes near the apron and works her arm like crazy. Naomi fights up but Alexa keeps her grounded by working the arm. The crowd chants for Becky and yet that’s not going to happen. Alexa keeps the work on Naomi’s arm and stomps it like hell. She is a great, small heel though. Alexa reminds us that Naomi’s not on her level and that no one likes them. Then we get the most useless camera angle in history on the titan tron. Thanks dummies. Naomi takes more heat until Alexa takes too much time and eats the turnbuckle. Naomi gives Alexa and jawbreaker and sells it like a gunshot. Naomi hits a horrible Rear View and only gets two. Otunga gives the tired “she didn’t get all of that” line and we KNEW THAT GENIUS. Alexa locks on a Cross Armbreaker but Naomi rolls out into a pin for the win. Classic WWE replacement booking and it’s odd. Alexa should have smashed over Naomi but whatever. **
So the main event of this show was officially Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton and I couldn’t think of a worse main event in WWE PPV history in terms of build. I mean the way they’ve made the focus around Bray Wyatt constantly being one-upped by Orton was so counter productive. Then when Wyatt finally pulled some kind of mysticism, it was far too late and Orton still looked like the bigger star. Wyatt needs a drastic overhaul or he’s done because of how horribly he’s been booked. Even though he showed a different side of how a character can be portrayed for modern WWE, he never got the key wins that the character really needed to be effective. Now we’re left with the scraps of what was possible and seeing Orton invade his “lair” over the weeks made his presence seem fake. How can the fans fear or respect a guy that gets outsmarted over and over and beaten into powder? Ah well, here’s my take on the match.
Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton
Wyatt comes out and the fans still pull out their phones for the fireflies entrance but it seems like habit more than being over at this point. Then I get to thinking and shit, Orton’s not that well booked himself. He jobbed out twice to Lesnar, once at SummerSlam and again on a fucking house show with no real coverage. So this is in essence and main event with two guys that haven’t won a big match in some time. Beautiful WWE logic. The fans still respond to both guys early on so I guess it proves that you can book some pretty bad shit and the fans can still care. Wyatt starts with his spooky posing quick and Orton immediately goes for his RKO and Wyatt’s too smart for that. Wyatt comes back into the ring and starts putting the heat on Orton but Orton’s not the fool for long and then he’s stomping Wyatt with Garvin Stomps. Wyatt eats European Uppercuts in the corner and a back elbow. Wyatt teases Sister Abigail and Orton escapes as well. Orton’s neck snaps over the top rope from the apron though and he’s suddenly being slung all around the floor. Orton goes for the RKO on the floor but is launched over the announce table and Wyatt breaks the count. Wyatt takes the steps apart and we start to get a tease of bad intentions. Orton comes back and beats up Wyatt with clotheslines. Wyatt is slung into the ring and Orton’s looking around for plunder. Orton takes too much time on the apron and he is knocked into the barricade. Wyatt does the Orton pose in the corner to a pop. Orton sells like he’s all out of it and Wyatt puts the boots to him. Running senton puts Orton down for two. Wyatt continues the beating on Randy and the fans seem to lose steam quite a bit. The fight spills out to the apron and Bray puts down Orton with a DDT on the apron for a near fall. This match is both parts sloppy and decent. The fans got into it here and there but they got lost all too often I feel. Wyatt takes far too much time preening and misses a second rope back senton and Orton claws up to his feet. Both men get up and exchange strikes. Wyatt again tries for Sister Abigail but is countered into a snap powerslam for a near fall. Wyatt gets back into the driver’s seat with the running elbow cross body. Wyatt’s uranage misses and we get counter after counter that ends with a school boy by Orton for two followed by the uranage by Wyatt for a near fall. If only the angle that built this was good and the fans had been hot as hell for it. Wyatt lays Orton on the stairs and misses another running back senton on the steps like a moron. Great. Orton breaks the ten count and starts setting Wyatt up for some table punishment but decides on driving Wyatt back first onto the edge of the barricade and rolls into the ring. Wyatt is pulled up into a rope-assisted DDT and the Orton comeback is in full force. Orton is about to pounce when the lights go out and LUKE HARPER IS IN THE RING! He’s staring dead at Orton and Sister Abigail levels him for the three count. Kudos to WWE on this one because Harper is awesome. ***1/2
Overall Thoughts: This was a good B-level pay-per-view with hiccups like many WWE shows. I loved the World title match and dug the Miz and Ziggler IC title match out of all the other matches I’d say. I felt like it was an odd choice to put Wyatt and Orton last but with Luke Harper’s return it felt alright. I think it’s a much better show than Backlash was and SmackDown is feeling more put together than it was not long ago. I worry where Slater and Rhyno as tag champions are going with few heel contenders going forward.
So as the headline states, my computer fucking hates me. I had about 18 pages of fantastic reviews of fantastic things, and next thing I know BAM! Nothing. Now I’m sure many that will read this opening line will be hateful enough to state the obvious: SAVE YOUR WORK DUMBSHIT. Yeah, yeah I know but sometimes this shit just FLOWS, man. And when the creativity FLOWS, man you just kind of forget simple things like save features. I’ll cut the cantankerous shit though and get into what we all came here for.
TNA Bound for Glory 2016 Quick Thoughts:
- The main event was an alright match but the finish was absolutely anti-climactic. Considering what I mention later regarding TNA’s future, this is extremely stupid in many ways.
- Decay vs The Hardys in “The Great War” was an absolute spectacle. As a wrestling match? I’d give it an average at best rating but as an entertaining event, it was top notch. They called back to all the previous vignettes/angles that have led to this moment as well. Strong finish that makes sense, if making sense even matters at this point with these four.
- The Impact Grand Championship final ended up being Eddie Edwards against Aron Rex, aka Damien Sandow when Drew Galloway revealed a bad neck injury. He mentioned in the promo that the injury was announced something about Billy Corgan only buying TNA to make life hell for him. Good stuff. I’ve seen elsewhere give this match low marks but I actually enjoyed it. Was the live crowd hot for it? No but we’re talking about the Impact Zone, scorched earth if there ever was any. Rex got the win but that didn’t hurt Eddie. Rex also teased a heel turn in the future while Eddie never gave up.
- Gail Kim vs Maria for the TNA Knockouts’ Title was what you’d expect; dogshit. It was nice to see Gail regain the title she brought into the business back in 2007 but other than that this was very forgettable.
- Mike Bennett vs Moose was alright. Moose has incredible potential and is a truly phenomenal athlete while Bennett is solid in the ring as a worker. It just lacked a really strong reason behind it as well as execution errors here and there that many make.
- The Bound for Gold Gauntlet match was also..there. A whole lot of nobodies and in the end, Eli Drake got the big win and a chance to challenge the TNA World Champion in the future at any time. I really dig Eli Drake despite him going way overboard with the Steve Austin routine at times. He has presence and he’s capable in the ring so I give this good vibes.
- Trevor Lee vs DJ Z for the X-Division Title was absolutely ridiculous. It was a spot fest if I’ve ever seen it and that isn’t a bad thing. I thought they were really inventive with their transitions at times and I saw things I’ve never seen before. Trevor Lee is going to be a massive star someday, if the stars continue to align themselves.
RAW 10-3-2016 Quick Thoughts:
-I felt like the mass of this show was quite poor, especially when it came to the in-ring sans the main event. New Day vs Owens and Jericho was fantastic both in the segment before the match and the match itself. It isn’t news to anyone that those four are money.
- Enzo and Big Cass had a bit of a cringe worthy Susan G. Komen segment with some cancer survivors. It wasn’t their fault, they were just instructed to do their full entrance schtick and these women clearly weren’t fans. Even many of the fans looked really uncomfortable but Enzo and Cass had strong poise dealing with it.
- Braun Strowman continues to just murder poor fuckers. He finally cut a promo saying he wants real competition. Well then, get ready to be exposed further!
- Sami Zayn vs Titus O’ Neil was the very definition of a good squash match from a babyface. Zayn took some heat, made his fiery comeback, and hit his finish for the win. Let us pray poor Sami gets some good stuff soon.
- Brian Kendrick vs TJ Perkins was awesome. Kendrick got the big win leading to a rematch for the title which I am also ok with. However, the fans still don’t seem enthused by this division and I am hoping WWE will be smart and push the cruiserweights with more character vignettes and promos. You can’t buy something that isn’t sold to you.
- Roman Reigns and Rusev opened the show with a shit brawl. Roman, naturally, got the upper hand in the end and announced that he would face Rusev inside Hell in a Cell AT Hell in a Cell. Thanks WWE, but this isn’t going to be what you think it will be.
- Seth Rollins continues to be booked quite weakly all too often. He looked like a whiny bitch in the back with Stephanie, even after giving the “marrying Hunter was a mistake” line. He caused Owens and Jericho their New Day match but still, so much more is needed to be done for people to truly invest in Rollins as a hero and most of all him against Owens entirely.
- Ah, Sasha Banks vs Charlotte. This was really, really good. I just can’t help but get Joshi vibes from these ladies and they absolutely bring the drama. Sasha continued to defy reason with her risky moves and Charlotte even added that trait to her own arsenal when she threw out an insane corkscrew moonsault to the floor on Sasha out of nowhere. Sasha wasn’t to be outclassed and she was absolutely on her game. Sasha took the win and that is as it should be. Charlotte is still the main bad girl on RAW and that’s also how it should be. Kudos to all involved. Rumors of a first-ever women’s Hell in a Cell match make this all the more intriguing going forward.
SmackDown Live Quick Thoughts for 10-4-2016:
- Bray Wyatt is pretty much done. Even if he beats Randy Orton at No Mercy, the damage that has been done to his mystique is something that can’t be taken lightly. He lost on this show to Kane by countout when Orton lured him to the back. What continued on throughout the show were glimpses of Wyatt looking for Orton, finding Orton, being outsmarted and locked in a storage locker, and finally Orton finds that Wyatt disappeared.
- The Hype Bros went up against The Vaudevillians in a battle of meaningless tag teams. Hype Bros went over after stuff.
- Nikki Bella vs Alexa Bliss ended up being Nikki and Becky Lynch vs Alexa Bliss and Carmella. That match was decent simply because Nikki sold most of the time, Becky and Alexa worked as well while Carmella just didn’t do anything. When she DID do something it was bad. Alexa went over with Twisted Bliss which is a fun move. Things have been hampered though with the injury to Becky.
- Jason Jordan vs Jey Uso was awesome for the angle match it was. Jordan won in a matter of seconds and that’s when The Usos took out both members of American Alpha with attacks to the knees. Slater and Rhyno ran them off and we got the overdone taunting before a big show.
- The segment involving Ziggler and Miz on this show was amazing. Miz ran a mockumentary involving all of Dolph’s worst WWE moments. Dolph fired up and out came Mike Mondo and Ken Doane from The Spirit Squad. Things seemed dormant until they mocked Dolph as well and blindsided him. Dolph made a comeback and took them out with Superkicks and nearly got Miz with one also when he snuck up from behind. I am actually interested in this match.
- Baron Corbin vs Jack Swagger was total bullshit. Bad match. Horrible finish. Pointless in every way. They did the “bad ref” finish where Corbin was reaching for the rope break and the ref saw that as a tap. Corbin lost his shit and we’re going to see a rematch that is not going to be good either.
- The face off between Cena, Ambrose, and AJ Styles was fantastic. AJ started and mentioned how great he was until Ambrose interrupted to talk about how he was screwed with the low blow from AJ at Backlash and now Cena is jealous of his success so he has to come out from the shadows to get the glory. Cena finally came to the ring and AJ immediately told him to shut up and started jabbing at him about not being in Ric Flair’s league in regards to his chase towards 16 World Championships. He also said his problem is he’s worried about Flair and not AJ. Cena went to respond yet Ambrose cut him off as well andsaid he knew what he was going to say, going into how Ambrose knew Cena didn’t like him and had done all he could to undermine him. The problem? Ambrose stated he was just a better performer than Cena and that’s why it didn’t matter. He also said that he wasn’t going to be a fake, plastic person in the back to be the World Champion and that’s when Cena just said talk is cheap. Cena also laid out both opponents and posed with the title. AJ blindsided him and posed as well with the title and went to walk to the back when Ambrose DRILLED him from behind and spiked him on the ramp with Dirty Deeds to end the show. Strong go-home for Team Blue going into No Mercy angle wise, totally awful for the most part match wise.
ROH All Star Extravaganza VIII
I only saw part of this show because of technical issues and I came into the show at the Kaimaitachi vs Dragon Lee match. Really good match that I saw with modern lucha oozing all out of it. Kaimaitachi now has been injured and it is a shame, he’s quite the good one.
Now again, I didn’t see most of this show so that sucks. However I saw two fucking tremendous matches here.
Tetsuya Naito vs Jay Lethal
THIS IS RASSLIN. Lethal played the strong babyface with cool moves and Naito played the complete douchebag...with cool moves! It was really good with Naito taking the heat all over the place and Jay fighting back so damn well. The finish was awesome and proves that ROH is getting better not worse. ****
The Addiction(c) vs The Motor City Machine Guns vs The Young Bucks in a Ladder War for the ROH World Tag Team Championships
This was a total tornado of action. If you like insanely dumb bumps, blood, and DEM SPOTS you have it in droves with this. The Young Bucks take a fucking heinous beating a lot of this match complete with a completely mental bump by Nick Jackson from the top of a ladder all the way to the floor and pretty much evaporating a table that did nothing for his fall. It is totally something out of the TLC days of 2001. There was a great moment where all six men did table spots in stereo and it came off well. Christopher Daniels won a Medal of Honor here with the fucking blood he lost as well as the absolutely insane bumps he took on a repeated basis while also missing nothing in terms of timing. There was a Fort of Barricades that Daniels was the sacrificial lamb for. The Bucks won after a crazy Meltzer Driver through a table and it is a must see. ****1/2
The rumor mill is going wild this week with more talks of a Brock Lesnar vs Bill Goldberg match yet there’s a new twist. Now the reports coming out are indicating that the match will indeed happen but not at WrestleMania 33. Instead, the plan is for a match at this year’s Survivor Series in Toronto. This coincides with recent quotes from Goldberg mentioning that he is thinking about a return now more than he has in years thanks to the hype behind WWE 2k17. What do I think about this development? It’s intriguing indeed but it’s also another example of Vince McMahon fixating on stars of yesteryear and neglecting his current crop all too often. I think the match would be a big hit and if it is given a good angle it could be very huge but the fact is both men are much older now than they were the last time they met in 2004. Let us also not forget that that match was god awful so is this something fans really WANT to see?
I caught only the majority of the “Wolf Creek Cage Match” between Decay and Matt and Brother Nero Hardy from this Thursday’s Impact as well as the well-publicized main event World title match. I thought the Decay and Hardys cage match was really good but I missed the finish thanks to my cable provider being absolutely fucking horrid. Then I find out that this was something TNA DID ON PURPOSE? My god. Then they post the finish online which included Matt just climbing over the cage, Reby rubbing his “blood” on her face as warpaint and them celebrating with Jeff. This shit is bizarre. **
Aron Rex vs Baron Dax for the Grand Championship was pretty much a squash. Rex showed some evil deeds on his way to the win but he made Dax tap like nothing. Rex feels very meh to me which is bad because he’s just gotten into the company. Perhaps it is the WWE burial that hasn’t been able to reverse itself or perhaps Rex just isn’t as good as people expected him to be.
The Maria/Mike Bennett and Brandi/Cody Rhodes segment was alright. I’m curious to see how Brandi will fair in the ring and Cody’s very good so there’s no worries on that. Mike vs Cody is next week.
Bobby Lashley(c) vs Eddie Edwards for the TNA World Championship
This is the classic mode of booking an underdog babyface. Lashley mauls Eddie for the vast majority of this one and even ignores chances to win because he thinks this is just a warm up. He does his usual suplexes and mean shit while Eddie simply sells and refuses to die. Eddie gets in some flashes of offense, a top rope hurricanrana and shining wizard are examples, yet Lashley is Lashley and isn’t taking that shit. As time goes on though, Lashley becomes weaker and suddenly Eddie’s hitting a nice elbow suicida on him on the floor and the fans are coming. Lashley cuts him off though right when things get good and we are expected to see another Lashley win with the spear and instead, Edwards bursts towards him and nails a running knee strike that they’re trying to call the Boston Knee Party (sigh) and gets the win! Eddie Edwards is yes, TNA World Champion. I really liked this match, loved the finish, and hope to God that he is given a chance as a strong champion. ***
WWE No Mercy 2016 Pre-Show:
American Alpha and The Hype Bros vs The Vaudevillains and The Ascension
I love me some American Alpha. They have the absolute best offense of any tag team in a long time, of course sans our saviors The Young Bucks. Now I’m thinking about a Bucks vs Alpha match instead of this. That match would be leagues better than this. Hype Bros are just there and it is sad because Zack Ryder is a talent. Same can be said for The ‘Villains and The Ascension though. Aiden and Chad Gable start us off and Gable wrestles circles around the poor man. We get some stereo dropkicks from Alpha on both ‘Villains. In comes Ryder and Viktor of the Ascension. We get a “Lets Go Ryder” chant which is super cool. Viktor does stuff. Ryder does some also. This quickly becomes just an exhibition of all teams involved, complete with Mojo Rawley making a complete ass of himself but somehow getting over with the crowd for it.
WWE No Mercy 2016 Main Show:
I didn’t know what to think when it was announced that the Triple Threat World Title match would start the show. I think on one hand it is a poor move because it is making the belt feel less important to some who feel that it should always be the main event. However on another hand, it has that unpredictable, ECW type feel where you never knew where a match would be put on the card so you made every match a big deal. Let us see how this pays off or not.
That Miz and Maryse commercial for No Mercy is gold. All of us should rejoice these people.
AJ Styles(c) vs John Cena vs Dean Ambrose for the WWE World Championship
A huge part of the crowd ate this up from the start. I was confused about them playing the match hype video AFTER all three men were in the ring. Bizarre. Way too much stalling before the bell even rang. I love how the heel in this equation got probably the loudest pop of anyone. They chanted his fucking name for god’s sake. Mauro Renallo is a godsend for this brand because he adds so much to anything he’s calling and these boys are going hard. Ambrose goes for broke but finds himself a pawn in the AJ vs Cena game and then we get a three way clothesline spot that is fun. They sell and Cena gets back up to fight with Ambrose and then comes AJ who gets knocked away time after time by Ambrose. Cena and AJ take a beating on the floor thanks to Ambrose for a bit and then we get a fight at one of the announce tables between AJ and Ambrose. Ambrose tries leaping on Cena but is caught and driven into the post. AJ dives from the ring into Cena like it is just another day. More AJ chants which make me happy. Cena takes a beating in the ring by AJ. Ambrose catches AJ sleeping and tries a suplex to the floor yet Ambrose transitions into the ring and jockeys for position with AJ and Cena sneaks up to give both men a german suplex. Super Cena still shows up when needed, or not needed depending on your disposition. Cena and AJ have a moment in the ring and Cena hits a fucking horrible TKO kind of move for a near fall. Cena then goes for the AA but AJ lands on his feet and seamlessly hits a Pele Kick. Goddamn AJ is just great. Ambrose gets a sunset flip on AJ for a two and AJ then hits his moonsault reverse DDT and neckbreaker combo on both opponents! I loved that. Ambrose gets backdropped way over the top and nearly eats the steps on a nasty bump. AJ works on Cena with mid kicks but Cena is stubborn as fuck with a gordbuster. Code Red for a near fall by Cena! That was probably the best one he’s ever done. Cena tries for a Super AA but AJ maneuvers himself out and into a Torture Rack Blue Thunder Bomb for a near fall! We get a back and forth between Cena and AJ with sleepers until Ambrose comes in to synch one in on Cena himself and puts all his weight on him. Cena breaks the hold by driving Ambrose into AJ in the corner. We get the usual Cena comeback but AJ breaks it up with a german suplex/facebuster combo to get a near fall. Ambrose comes up and nails AJ with his Double Chickenwing Facebuster for a near fall! This is good. Ambrose gets tossed to the floor and Cena’s back to do his Ultimate Warrior shoulder blocks yet Ambrose is up top and hits the standing elbow drop for a near fall! AJ goes to nail Ambrose with the springboard elbow but Cena takes it instead. This opens up Ambrose vs AJ up on the top rope ending with an AJ frankensteiner into a sunset flip for a near fall! AJ gets a roll up for two. A double clothesline ends things for a time and Cena finds himself in the ring yet again. The fans immediately start booing, and Cena signals for a double five knuckle shuffle and hits it, it’s not good. Cena gets AA on AJ but AJ rolls to the floor. Dirty Deeds is reversed into an AA on Ambrose for a near fall! Here we go, the finisher/kickout marathon begins! Cena locks on the STF and AJ breaks it up. AJ suplexes Cena on the apron and jumps up and hits a springboard 450 on Ambrose for two. Springboard forearm is countered yet Ambrose is countered also into the Styles Clash! Cena is there though to lock on the STF! Ambrose is out though, or so we though. Ambrose holds AJ’s hand from tapping and starts beating the shit out of Cena. Cena finds himself with both men up high for a Double AA but AJ fights out. What follows is a flurry of all three men leveling each other with great moves. Ambrose and AJ are up though and continue on. Ambrose teases a Super Dirty Deeds but Cena comes from behind to hit a powerbomb for two. AJ cross bodies Cena but is dead lifted up and into the AA but AJ slips out again into a Calf Crusher! Cena is in trouble but Ambrose saves the match with an elbow on AJ. Cena rolls out and again, it is about Ambrose and AJ. Ambrose gets the Calf Crusher on AJ! His version is real bad. Cena takes AJ’s other leg and locks the STF ON! AJ TAPPED WHAT IN THE HELL?! The ref is waving it off, and JBL somehow tells us this is the right move and yet he’s saying that it is still on. Really dumb. Cena levels Ambrose with a clothesline and I start to get woozy. What kind of trite are they giving us? Cena has AA but eats Dirty Deeds instead but AJ saves the day with a ref interference! Ambrose leaps over the ref and dives onto AJ who crashes down and Ambrose slings him over an announce table. Ambrose goes up top and Cena is smart to it. Why not? Cena again goes for the Super AA and nails it. AJ has a chair! AJ beats his spine out with it and AJ takes the win! Really dumb booking in many ways but AJ retains the title despite tapping out to both men. ***1/2
Nikki Bella vs Carmella
They finally announce that Becky won’t be competing tonight. They mention it is not wrestling related which is odd. Anyways I hope Becky comes back soon and healthier than ever. They also say Alexa will still wrestle. This feud between these two started off interesting and has just puddered out. I’d call this an Ode to The Divas Division. Lots of hair pulling. Lots of tits out and asses as well. Not a ton of wrestling. Carmella slings Nikki around like hell which was great and she starts selling her neck like crazy. Carmella keeps working the neck and suddenly I don’t mind it. Nikki Bella’s facial expressions are so comical. We get a stunning moonwalk into a bronco buster. Not intriguing in any way after the fun bumps from Nikki on the floor. Nikki’s spear to Carmella after the heat was AWFUL. Nikki gives love to X-Pac with a nice X Factor for a near fall. This match just proved to me how green Carmella is and how obvious it was that Nikki carried this whole thing. The fans really didn’t give two fucks at all and I can’t blame them. Carmella’s submission finish is cool to see. Nikki pulled a Cena and beat Carmella out of nowhere. *
Miz and Maryse go into Shane and Daniel Bryan’s office and talks about great things. Mainly how he’s going to put out Ziggler and that Bryan is at fault for this retirement as much as he is. He talks about Rocky IV and Bryan corpses like he’s on SNL or something. Bryan feigns anger badly and Miz flubs his line about how Dolph and Bryan will both be retired after tonight. Miz says he wants to re-negotiate after tonight and Shane dead pans. GOLD I SAY.
Heath Slater and Rhyno(c) vs The Usos for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship
The fans really don’t care about The Usos either way but I have to say I like the street heel vibe they have. I know a lot of people hate them but I don’t mind it it is something different. Rhyno and Slater are just a novelty act at this point. The response for them was mute at best here. Jimmy and Rhyno do some stuff and Jimmy eats a double elbow by Slater and Rhyno. The Usos beat on Slater for a bit to make me happy it seems. Rhyno takes a tag and levels the Usos and it’s just alright. The Usos take advantage of distraction to dropkick Rhyno into the corner and hit a running butt attack into the corner ala Umaga. Rhyno actually takes the heat at some point and it is quite funny to see. Slater with the hot tag was very great though because he has FIRE. Jey and Slater have a really fun sequence with a big pop-up Samoan Drop for a near fall. Jimmy gets the tag and Rhyno makes it a fair fight. Slater hits a top rope powerslam for a near fall really good! Nice Superkick by Jimmy and Slater is DONESKI. Jey is tagged in and they attack the knee. Tequila Sunrise is locked in and Rhyno comes in to break it up with a hard ass clothesline. Slater crawls to the corner and Rhyno takes the tag. Rhyno measures up a Gore for Jey and it is all over. This was much better than I expected. **1/2
Bray Wyatt is in the back in his rocking chair speaking some kind of tongues or language. He’s snapped so apparently we have to be reminded of this with a backstage...thing. He just feels like a delusional homeless guy because of his weak booking.
Jack Swagger vs Baron Corbin
WHY DID THEY BOOK THIS AGAIN? It was dumb on Tuesday and it is dumber tonight. These guys are booking casualties of this year and this match showed it because the fans did not care AT ALL. It wasn’t even that the match was awful but it just had no real heat at all. Corbin tried to look like a big monster but no one bought it. They work with Swagger getting his hand hurt on the steps so that Corbin can work his hand the rest of the match, making one assume that the ankle lock would be impossible. Corbin does the worst post spot when he just slapped the post and sold his face. Swagger whipped his ass and hit his Swagger Bomb for two. They worked the idea that Swagger can’t put on his ankle lock and Corbin gets a near fall off of Deep Six. Corbin screams at the ref and decides he wants to play with Swagger some more and yell at fans. Swagger just no sells his hand finally and locks in the Ankle Lock. We get an identical situation with the hold with Corbin reaching for the ropes and he gets the ring apron to break. Corbin pokes his eyes and hits End of Days for the win. **
The Miz(c) vs Dolph Ziggler Career vs Intercontinental Championship
I personally felt like this should have went last when I heard the World Title match was first but I get why you’d throw it on in the middle. For one, it isn’t like Dolph’s ever had the respect in the back to be given a true-blue big time main event aside from the time he had a ladder match with John Cena. No surprise. Also, The Miz is his opponent and WWE hasn’t exactly had faith in him in the ring either. Nonetheless this build has been pretty solid and I actually did give a shit about this. Miz has so much heat and I LOVE IT. He’s probably the only true heel on the active roster because people legit want him to get beat up constantly. Dolph starts us off with some babyface shine until Miz catches him sleeping going back into the ring but Dolph feeds him a great dropkick. Ziggler takes a Bret Hart front turnbuckle like a champ for two. Miz sells his teeth, a call back to earlier this year when he shoot lost his teeth. Miz takes control though and works over Dolph with good stuff, mainly his usual basic stuff. Miz taunts at Daniel Bryan and puts on what looks to be the starts of a mexican surfboard and does the Yes fingers taunt before stomping down on Dolph’s hamstrings. I feel like they’re totally mocking the internet fans, THEY WOULD NEVER! Ziggler goes for a superkick but suffers for it. Ziggler plays the face in peril well here and claws just to stand. Miz does Daniel Bryan’s rushing dropkicks into the corner and it is obvious that this is teasing Miz vs Bryan down the line. Odd. Ziggler catches Miz off guard with another great dropkick and Otunga tells us that somehow Ziggler is still gonna lose. Aren’t you a good guy dude? Anyways we get both men clammering to their feet and Ziggler rushes into Miz with repeated clothlines into the stinger splash and elbows for a near fall. Ziggler feigns despair here and again looks beaten down. Ziggler makes a mistake and Miz goes for the slingshot powerbomb but Ziggler rolls him up for two and Miz levels him in return with a big boot but is caught with his feet on the ropes with the pinfall. Miz is mad he got caught. Miz eats the post and Ziggler nearly gets a roll up but Miz counters. Miz nails a DDT for a near fall. Miz recovers and works Ziggler’s knee like crazy and goes for a figure four but Ziggler is smart to it. Miz clips at the knee and dropkicks it in the corner and stalks again and tries a figure four but Ziggler rolls him up for two. Miz hits his leaping clothesline in the corner and goes for a high risk move. Ziggler crotches him though and tries for a superplex yet Miz beats on him to escape. Miz counters it into a sunset flip into a slingshot but Ziggler fights out. Miz finds a way to slap on the figure four though and Ziggler sells like his leg is being filleted. He works towards the bottom rope but Miz slides him further away and Ziggler nearly gets caught with his shoulders down. They work this hold so damn well and the fans will Dolph onward to the ropes. This is good pro wrestling! Maryse finally gets involved and distracts the ref so that Miz can remove one of the turnbuckle pads. Ziggler hits a Rough Ryder for a near fall! That was neat. Miz looks fucked and sells his throat which is great. Ziggler tries for the Zig Zag but he eats the exposed turnbuckle and Miz hits a sloppy slingshot powerbomb but Ziggler barely kicks out! Miz looks absolutely shocked and saddened to the core. TOP NOTCH BOYS. These guys worked this match so well that the crowd got behind them. Miz then does the mid kicks to the kneeling Ziggler, again ala Bryan and misses the home run kick and Ziggler hits his Zig Zag! Miz kicks out however and the fans sigh! Maryse feigns a heart attack on the floor. The fans are on their feet for Ziggler and he is absolutely up and poised. Miz goes for a Skull Crushing Finale but is rolled up for a near fall. Ziggler quickly locks in a sleeper! Miz tries to fight it and they’re close to the ropes. Miz looks to fade rather quickly but suddenly bursts towards the ropes. Maryse sprays the eyes again and a Skull Crushing Finale hits but Dolph’s foot is on the rope! Maryse is stunned, Miz thinks he won. The ref says fuck no and Miz is so sad guys. Like Droopy the Dog sad and I love it. Miz goes after Dolph’s knee like a total, cheap dick. Ziggler’s boot comes off and Miz eats his socked foot with a superkick! Dolph crawls towards a downed Miz and the damn Spirit Squad hits the ring! The fans fucking boo huge and for good reason. Miz levels Mondo Miz takes advantage with the Skull Crushing Finale yet DOLPH KICKS OUT AGAIN! THIS IS GOOD, MAN. Miz looks enraged beyond belief and Ziggler is worn down to hell. Sacramento lets us know this is awesome, they are right. The ref kicks out all three goofs from ringside to a HUGE POP. Dolph gives Miz yet another SUPERKICK AND IT IS OVER FOLKS! New IC Champion and the world rejoices. ****
Orton is in the back and he’s looking in the mirror, seeing distorted shit rather than reality just like always with Wyatt angles. Ok, thanks.
We see where Curt Hawkins finally got in the ring during the pre-show. Hawkins got the mic and said that on Tuesday he’ll finally wrestle. Useless, pointless, bad, and actually rotten.
Alexa Bliss comes out and gets on the mic to let us know that Becky Lynch is being protected. Alexa mocked Becky and said it didn’t matter because she’s just scared of her. Cool. Naomi cut her off and people didn’t really seem to care a lot.
Alexa Bliss vs Naomi
Alexa just beats the snot out of Naomi for the early part. Naomi catches her talking shit and kicks her like crazy. Naomi hit a sloppy split-legged moonsault for two. Elbow strike by Alexa with the thigh slap of DOOM effect. Awesome double Eat Defeat by Naomi and yet she can’t take advantage. Alexa ties her up in the ropes near the apron and works her arm like crazy. Naomi fights up but Alexa keeps her grounded by working the arm. The crowd chants for Becky and yet that’s not going to happen. Alexa keeps the work on Naomi’s arm and stomps it like hell. She is a great, small heel though. Alexa reminds us that Naomi’s not on her level and that no one likes them. Then we get the most useless camera angle in history on the titan tron. Thanks dummies. Naomi takes more heat until Alexa takes too much time and eats the turnbuckle. Naomi gives Alexa and jawbreaker and sells it like a gunshot. Naomi hits a horrible Rear View and only gets two. Otunga gives the tired “she didn’t get all of that” line and we KNEW THAT GENIUS. Alexa locks on a Cross Armbreaker but Naomi rolls out into a pin for the win. Classic WWE replacement booking and it’s odd. Alexa should have smashed over Naomi but whatever. **
So the main event of this show was officially Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton and I couldn’t think of a worse main event in WWE PPV history in terms of build. I mean the way they’ve made the focus around Bray Wyatt constantly being one-upped by Orton was so counter productive. Then when Wyatt finally pulled some kind of mysticism, it was far too late and Orton still looked like the bigger star. Wyatt needs a drastic overhaul or he’s done because of how horribly he’s been booked. Even though he showed a different side of how a character can be portrayed for modern WWE, he never got the key wins that the character really needed to be effective. Now we’re left with the scraps of what was possible and seeing Orton invade his “lair” over the weeks made his presence seem fake. How can the fans fear or respect a guy that gets outsmarted over and over and beaten into powder? Ah well, here’s my take on the match.
Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton
Wyatt comes out and the fans still pull out their phones for the fireflies entrance but it seems like habit more than being over at this point. Then I get to thinking and shit, Orton’s not that well booked himself. He jobbed out twice to Lesnar, once at SummerSlam and again on a fucking house show with no real coverage. So this is in essence and main event with two guys that haven’t won a big match in some time. Beautiful WWE logic. The fans still respond to both guys early on so I guess it proves that you can book some pretty bad shit and the fans can still care. Wyatt starts with his spooky posing quick and Orton immediately goes for his RKO and Wyatt’s too smart for that. Wyatt comes back into the ring and starts putting the heat on Orton but Orton’s not the fool for long and then he’s stomping Wyatt with Garvin Stomps. Wyatt eats European Uppercuts in the corner and a back elbow. Wyatt teases Sister Abigail and Orton escapes as well. Orton’s neck snaps over the top rope from the apron though and he’s suddenly being slung all around the floor. Orton goes for the RKO on the floor but is launched over the announce table and Wyatt breaks the count. Wyatt takes the steps apart and we start to get a tease of bad intentions. Orton comes back and beats up Wyatt with clotheslines. Wyatt is slung into the ring and Orton’s looking around for plunder. Orton takes too much time on the apron and he is knocked into the barricade. Wyatt does the Orton pose in the corner to a pop. Orton sells like he’s all out of it and Wyatt puts the boots to him. Running senton puts Orton down for two. Wyatt continues the beating on Randy and the fans seem to lose steam quite a bit. The fight spills out to the apron and Bray puts down Orton with a DDT on the apron for a near fall. This match is both parts sloppy and decent. The fans got into it here and there but they got lost all too often I feel. Wyatt takes far too much time preening and misses a second rope back senton and Orton claws up to his feet. Both men get up and exchange strikes. Wyatt again tries for Sister Abigail but is countered into a snap powerslam for a near fall. Wyatt gets back into the driver’s seat with the running elbow cross body. Wyatt’s uranage misses and we get counter after counter that ends with a school boy by Orton for two followed by the uranage by Wyatt for a near fall. If only the angle that built this was good and the fans had been hot as hell for it. Wyatt lays Orton on the stairs and misses another running back senton on the steps like a moron. Great. Orton breaks the ten count and starts setting Wyatt up for some table punishment but decides on driving Wyatt back first onto the edge of the barricade and rolls into the ring. Wyatt is pulled up into a rope-assisted DDT and the Orton comeback is in full force. Orton is about to pounce when the lights go out and LUKE HARPER IS IN THE RING! He’s staring dead at Orton and Sister Abigail levels him for the three count. Kudos to WWE on this one because Harper is awesome. ***1/2
Overall Thoughts: This was a good B-level pay-per-view with hiccups like many WWE shows. I loved the World title match and dug the Miz and Ziggler IC title match out of all the other matches I’d say. I felt like it was an odd choice to put Wyatt and Orton last but with Luke Harper’s return it felt alright. I think it’s a much better show than Backlash was and SmackDown is feeling more put together than it was not long ago. I worry where Slater and Rhyno as tag champions are going with few heel contenders going forward.
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